July 14

Today is the first day that Im actually kinda scared. At home, I get freaked out just going on a trail run so what did I expect? The guides keep telling us stories of all the stupid things people do on these safaris. Like the girl who spots a lion 100 feet away from her tent and sneaks closer to take pictures of it. As if the car is on tracks and the animals are part of a backdrop and there to amuse us. There’s one person in our camp like that and it pisses me off to no end.
So now were camping in a little clearing in the midst of a rainforesty area. Its beautiful but very full of animals that are much less timid than at our last two camps. Here, the lions come prancing straght through camp- not at all deterred by our presence. The guide, Ninian, gave us ample warning letting us know that 3 campers have been eaten here this year and not to leave your tent at all in the evenings or nights without light and someone walking with you. The tents are set close to each other and each one is equipped with fog horns- “not to be used when the lion is staring at you through the tent netting- just when its got half of your leg in its mouth already“- Ninian’s words. He isn’t very reassuring. Far too honest. On our first flight between camps, we flew in an airplane that wasn’t pressurized and held only 14 people and, as we climbed so as to fly over Mount Kenya, he broke an oxygen deprived silence by feeling for his pulse and asking, “does anybody know their resting heart rate?” But he’s great. He’s just like a little boy who loves to screw around and test the limits. And he’s very untraditional as a guide. He respects the land as much as anyone but he lives in it also- he doesn’t just worship it.
On one outing, we pulled over by a murky river and were checking out some crocodiles. After making animal sounds and screeching at them for a while, they were still not moving so he asked his son to get his slingshot and started chucking rocks at it. Finally, he nailed a croc in the nose and the thing thrashed towards us and slid into the water. And like the crocodile hunter, he turned around beaming at us and said, “Do you guys see how incredibly fast their reflexes are? Beautiful, just beautiful. Okay, lets go find that cheetah.“ He’s obsessed with cats- leopards, cheetah and lions, and he gets really competitive with the other guides- pangs of jealousy when someone else finds a cat before he does.
Today, he was tired of driving during the game drive so he let me take over. He sat on top of the jeep with the kids, rough housing and cracking jokes at my driving and shouting out directions as I navigated around boulders, ditches, and warthog holes, adjusting my mind so as to shift with the left hand and pull to the left when another car passed. And when the rare other car does come down the road, its usually some Kenyan rangers, who wave by putting both their hands in the air, smiling super white teeth and shouting “Jambo!”. Anyway, we found a leopard. I actually spotted it (not Ninian) because I was driving, turned a corner, and almost ran it over. Then we positioned ourselves and watched it sit in a bush- out from the pouring rain- grooming itself, planning its next bold move, as we played cards and he bragged and gave directions to the 2 other cars over radio. He offered to pay us to tell everyone else that actually HE saw the leopard first. On the way back, we drove through the dark, without headlights, off road, back to camp so the rangers wouldn’t catch us out later than whats allowed. I don’t know how he managed to drive back. It was so dark the person riding shotgun had the job of covering up the clock and odometer to reduce to light inside the car.
--okay, I just heard a snorting kinda deal outside the tent- that’s creepy. Fog horn in hand… should I look out the window or not?? Not.--

Henry is another one of our guides. He’s just a badass. He’s done pretty much everything and knows how to do everything. He lived on and tends to a piece of land a million square acres, goes deep sea fishing, has gotten trampled by an African buffalo, both his father and father-in-law have survived lion attacks, and his son was killed by a rhino. He’s a tank and is fearless. Unfortunately, as he leans out of the window making mating sounds to tempt a black rhino the size of 6 refrigerators to charge us, he forgets that we are not quite that fearless. The best part about safari-ing with Henry is his spotter, Galo Galo. He’s a local Kenyan who was a poacher that Henry caught and turned in. He went to jail for a while but right when he got out, Henry gave him a job as a spotter. He sits on the back of Henry’s truck looking for animals and he’s crazy good. We’ll be driving down a bumpy road and 35 miles an hour and Galo will see a gecko hibernating in a tree that we can only see after stopping the car and inspecting the branches with binoculars for five minutes.
Besides the tempting-dangerous-animals-to-show-us-their-stuff thing, Henry’s one of my favorite of all the people here. He’s so genuine and has a lot to say but lacks the urge to impress people with it so he makes for great, interesting but light hearted conversation. And I love watching him when were all talking. He listens intently with furrowed brow and squinted eyes, and usually his fist up to his chin and index finger over his lips. And when he talks looks up like his thinking really hard, and talks slowly so as not to say anything superfluous or unnecessary.

And then there’s Ethan. Ninian described Ethan as the blond guy with the six pack. Both of those things are true but that’s not his only merit. He’s very quiet, focused and somber when were out in a car. You can tell that he passionately loves the land and the animals. He lives in Tanzania and, no matter the circumstances, if Im standing with him, I feel completely safe. But he’s also a total nut. His humor is at the level of my 14 and 16 year old boy cousins (theyre who he mostly hangs out with) and he gets in fits of laughter over the stupidest, barely-coherent dirty jokes.
He can be the most fun but is the most unpredictable too because he has this pensive, secretive side that‘s wretchedly frustrating but incredibly sexy. For some reason, Im always drawn to the quiet brooding type- Ive got to break that tradition. Im not sure what about that is attractive to me- I guess I like to know that other people think- just take time to shut up, think, and look around. The second or third night, I desperately needed to get away from the 11 family members Ive been spending 17 hours a day with, so we went for a walk which, in order to avoid becoming lion prey, turned out to be more like pacing around a few hundred yards from camp. But it was dark and the stars were incredible and it was quiet enough to chill out and rejuvenate. I really do need time to myself to sort things out and reboot and Im glad there’s someone else here who needs that too. Its pretty draining being within 20 feet of at least one other person at all times, 24 hours a day. And its really hard not being able to go for chill-out walks. But Im going to really miss this when I leave. Im going to miss it so much that Ive decided to learn Swahili and come back- for a decent chunk of time.
My Swahili is actually coming along quite nicely. Heres a few words
Jambo- Hello
Karibu- Your welcome or just Welcome
Haribu- How are you
Nzuri- Good, Fine…
Kwaheri- Goodbye
I found a “Useful Swahili” book with little conversations and learned
Watoto wako shambani- The kids are in the garden
Ndizi- Banana (Ndizi hizi- These bananas)
Simba- Lion
Duma- Cheetah
Chewy- Leopard (The Kenyans pronounce it “Lee-oh-pard” because Swahili is completely phonetic. So far, much easier than French where Oiseaux is pronounced “Wa- zoh“)
Hapa- Here
Hoku- There
…and so on
Learning Swahili is my summer project. I think I can get a rough understanding down. And then Im coming back here STAT. Im brainstorming the skills I have that can make me a living here. Ive talked to a few of the locals about it and they mostly say jobs are pretty scarce. A few of them thought the recession was just Kenya.
I think being a nanny would be my best bet.