Trust Anyway

I really value the concept of trust. It's so important I think to hand some control over to the world. We have such limited control anyway, people who try so hard to manage everything that goes on around them end up just driving themselves crazy. So why even try. Take care of the things that are within your power and leave the rest alone.

The metaphor that makes the most sense to me is getting wiped out by a wave. If you've ever been taken out by a wave, you know that the ocean is much more powerful than you are and trying to fight it is futile and will only exhaust you. So give in, enjoy the ride and soon enough- although it feels like forever- you'll be jettisoned up to the surface again. I've gotten into a lot of ridiculous situations where relaxing and waiting it out has saved me- almost losing all of my bags the first night I got to Kenya, alone, at night and exhausted. Getting off busses into cities not being able to speak any of the language and somehow trying to meet up with a friend who I have no contact with and it somehow all just... working out.

When I was in Seattle, the day before loading up my bike and heading off, I was in a cafe with Kevin- our table covered with maps, pens, and coffees- I went to the bathroom and glancing up on the wall- the only thing written on the wall, in perfect handwriting, exactly at my eye level- was a little carving that said "Trust Anyway". I love that. Despite all odds, again and again, just trust. What else can you do? So I assume that's a pretty good theme for this trip, this summer of adventure and unexpected waking into situations that no one could have planned.

But I've always put my trust into the world, the general flow of things, rarely having to trust and count on other people. I've always managed to float between the cracks unnoticed, plan things so as to only have to rely on myself. Now, however, setting out to camp and cycle alone, I have to put a lot of trust in other people. Trusting that the guy whose giving me a ride to the coast is, in fact, just giving me a ride to the coast. And trusting that, when camping alone at night, I'll be fine. I am a very trusting person and don't consider things like this "risky" but it is interesting to, every once in a while, consider how vulnerable I actually am. And remember how much of social interactions are a bit of a contract. A trusting agreement that no one will cross any boundaries... but it would be so easy to and in that situation, I would be utterly powerless. Hmm.
I'm still going to the coast and I still plan on camping alone- I'm actually really looking forward to it. But it's just an interesting new dimension to traveling. As a little girl with braids and a plastic painted ukulele sticking out of her paniers- teetering on the shoulder of Hwy 101.